postpartum blues.

Not only have I felt a little under the weather lately, but I think I am suffering, on a small scale, from the postpartum blues. Work, play, life in general - nothing seems to excite me. Everyday tasks seem extremely daunting and my motivation to do anything more than just get by is not only lacking, but gone. For 10 months, you have the unexplainable excitement of the birth of a child to look forward to and then its over just like that. I remember experiencing this same thing with Maddox, but because he was my first I kept myself somewhat preoccupied just learning to be a mom. I have been back at work long enough for the schedule to already become mundane - wake, get myself and two kids ready, drop off at daycare by 7:30am, work all day, pick up kids by 5:30pm, make dinner, and squeeze 8 hours worth of day into 3 of the 4 waking hours I have with the kids and my husband each day, bedtime routine, and up again the next day just to do it all over again. I know that no matter what you do in life everything becomes routine and after all I do in fact like routines, but for some reason I am struggling being happy with mine lately. My mom tells me to call the doctor, but I just don't like the fact of having to rely on something or someone else to make me happy. Especially because I am still breastfeeding - I don't know anything about anti depressants and if they can have any effect on the baby, but to tell you truth I really don't want to find out. I am a strong advocate of "if there's a will, there's a way". If only I could just get my "will" to work with me here, I would be alot happier in more ways than one. I know that this to shall pass, and if bad gets worse a call to the doc may be my only resort. However, for now, I will work on my "will" and do my absolute best to find happiness in ALL of the wonderful things I have been blessed with. Sorry to be a downer here, but I thought putting something into words might help. I already feel a little lighter.

Thanks for listening.